Saturday, February 14, 2004

Test your Iraqiness

You know you're Iraqi when...

1. You originally have no Arab blood, you're either Turkish, Iranian, Assyrian, Chaldean, Kurdish, Turkomen, or Indian in origin, but somehow you're Arab!
2. When surrounded by other Arab nationalities and you speak Iraqi no one knows what the hell you're saying.
3. When talking to Egyptians your Iraqi accent turns Egyptian, when talking to Lebanese, your accent turns Lebanese, ...etc.
4. If you're a guy, all the Iraqi women already have their eyes on you and want you for their daughter.
5. If you're a girl, all the Iraqi women think their sons are too good for you.
6. When Iraqi women get together, they all compete in who's got the loudest voice, and they all talk at the same time.
7. Every Iraqi family is dysfunctional in one way or another.
8. Every Iraqi has a bit of im3aydee in them.
9. Iraqis have an extensive and exclusive swearing vocabulary ranging from 'incheb-ee', 'islayma', 'ibn al zafra', 'sarsaree', 'gawad', 'taras', 'barboog', 'thowla', 'booma', '3ama', 'quz al qurt', 'wuja3', 'ghabra', ..etc.
10. There is no such thing as elegant eating in an Iraqi household.
11. Everyone has at least one Ali in their immediate family.
12. If lunch doesn't include rice, its not considered a meal.
13. Kathem al Saher is considered handsome amongst Iraqis.
14. When Iraqi guys try to pick up girls, their approach is maybe a bit too aggressive "Hay shlown jamal ya bint al kalb", "Lich hay weyn ray7ah, ta3alee ihna, khen ger-gir?", "Shinoo hal kaykah, jawa3teenee".
15. Being romantic is foreign to Iraqis, when they try to be, it's so unsuitable that ladies prefer the true Iraqi way better.
16. Every Iraqi knows every family or clan in the entire nation of Iraq, and somehow you always know a specific story about them.
17. Every Iraqi you meet abroad was a neighbor or is a neighbor back home.
18. When Iraqis dance to 3adel 3ogla or Hatem al 3raqi, everyone returns to their im3aydee roots, everyone goes wild, and all the other non-Iraqis get scared.
19. Saying the word 'Baghdad' makes Iraqis cry hysterically.
20. During a wedding, all the young single people are checking each other out.
21. You've been beaten up to death by a Na3al (slipper) at least once in your life.
22. It is not biologically possible for Iraqis to have a small nose.
23. Sarcasm is part of Iraqi DNA, You never know whether the joke is a joke or not!
24. To be Iraqi you must drink chai (tea) five times a day.
25. Everyone owns a leather jacket, big shoulder pads and a thick belt is a MUST!
26. You have guests over for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and after midnight.
27. If an Iraqi accidentally trips on a banana peel in the street, he starts cursing and blaming the government.
28. Iraqis are all natural born faultfinders.

But all in all.....WE RULE!!!