Saddam is everywhere

It is accepted as common wisdom today in Iraq that Saddam Hussein has been always on the run since April 9 and that he rarely sleeps twice in the same location. There is evidence that he regularly changes his trusted bodyguards and even executes some of them if he feels they are less 'loyal' to him than they used to be. All other evidence points out to the fact that he had properly planned for this probably for some months before the war, and had prepared secret hideouts that are unkown by anyone but himself with an appropriate amount of cash. Saddam had lived most of his life in hiding, he is now doing what he knows best.

Many people from various locations all over Iraq have alleged meeting Saddam all of a sudden. One of the latest of these 'sightings' occured in Northern Iraq during a funeral of an Iraqi general that was big in the Iraq-Iran war. According to the generals' family a taxi stopped at the funeral from which two people approached the family in the dark, when they were closer everyone realized that one of them was Saddam Hussein. He offered his consolations to the family and shaked hands with the rest, before leaving he offered them an envelope and dissappeared in the dark, the envelope contained 10,000 dollars.

Another recent story was that Saddam knocked the door of a respected tribal leader's house in Al-Anbar governorate one night. He was accompanied by three people, they all sat in the sheikh's Madhif, had some Arabian coffee and left after a while. The people that were there claim that he was wearing traditional Arab clothes with a kuffiya wrapped around his head, he had grown a long white beard but otherwise looked cheerful and healthy.

In Mosul, Saddam visited an injured militant in a hospital and exchanged greetings with the staff and left promptly.

In Baghdad, a woman sweared that she rented a taxi and after getting inside, the driver turned to her and exchanged small talk with her. Of course that driver was Saddam.

In the Al-Harthiyah district, there was something suspicious going on in an empty house. The neighbours called the police, after a few minutes Saddam came out with two aides and left in a truck loaded with furniture.

A tribal sheikh near Tikrit was kidnapped in the middle of the night, was blindfolded and driven on a bumpy road for a long time, when they unfolded his eyes Saddam was sitting in front of him smoking a Cuban cigar, and he asked him why wasn't he helping the boys in the 'resistance', and warned him of a grave destiny if he 'collaborated' with the occupiers.

In Ba'qubah, at a mosque one of the locals had just finished praying when the man on his left turned his face to him and said "I will be your guest at your house this night". That man was Saddam.

There were other similar Saddam Hussein sightings in Azerbaijan, Russia, Belarus, Iran, Syria, Israel, the Phillipines, Hawaii, and the Carribean Islands.
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At an unidentified location in Iraq, Saddam was seen with a foreign looking guy carrying a guitar, wearing a white suit, Blue Swede shoes, and with a haircut that looked very strange to Iraqis. They reported this to coalition troops after which they learned that the strange looking guy was a famous American rock'n roll star who is also suspected to be behind attacks against coalition forces in the triangle.

At another area, Saddam was seen leaving a weird saucer-like aircraft accompanied by little green men with large wrap-around black eyes. They were speaking in some strange language and people were bewildered.

Somewhere else, Saddam was sighted wearing a black leather outfit that looked like something out of a BDSM porn video. He was carrying a pinkish cylindrical object never seen before by the locals with which he did some very strange stuff, he was also stalking their animals for some unkown reason. People were totally freaked out.